Speedy Gonzales

So after 6 years of driving in this country, I finally get pulled over... Good looking female cop comes up and asks for my licence, registration and insurance...

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over ?
Me: ***Oh hell yeah, I do*** Not really officer
Cop: You made an illegal U turn. There were multiple signs saying "No Turns"
Me: ***Illegal ? Really ? We are supposed to obey those signs ? I thought those were driving suggestions*** I'm sorry officer, I did not see the signs. I was talking to my friends

Cop: Where are you coming from and where were you going?
Me: We just came out of that bar there. I am headed home, as soon as I drop my friends off
Cop: Oh, so you are the designated driver for your friends. Thats nice
Me: ***Designated what?? In case you hadn't noticed, we are desis. We always travel like illegal mexicans stuffed into the back of a pickup truck*** Yes officer. I am the designated driver for tonite

Cop: Hows your driving record?
Me: Its perfect. Actually, this is the first time I've been pulled over
Cop: First time? So you have a clean record. Thats nice
Me: ***Clean? Umm... Err... Actually, its because I can usually spot an unmarked cop car from half a mile away. And if my friends hadn't been talking to me, I might have seen you too*** Yes, m'aam, I have a clean record

Cop: I'm sorry, but for this particular offence, I must give you a ticket. But in light of our conversation and since you have been nice and polite, I'd be willing to put in a good word for you to the judge if you want to show up in court
Me: ***Couldn't you just give me your phone number instead? I wonder how "nice and polite" I would have been had it been a male cop?*** Thank you officer

I looked down at the ticket... Two points and 135 bucks... Damn !!